awkward

I’m Not Trying to Steal Your Kid: Charlie, the Child-Magnet

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Charlie

Charlie and my old cat, Fred

Children love Charlie. Like, obsessive love at first sight. As soon as kids see him, they break away from their parents and throw their arms around him like he’s their long-lost grandmother. Meanwhile, the parents look at me like I’m the Willie Wonka of dog-obsessed kids and I’m trying to lure their children to my chocolate factory. Or maybe that’s what I see and I’m just paranoid because I watch a lot of Law & Order: SVU.

Charlie is never super excited to encounter strangers. I don’t know a lot about his past before I adopted him, but it seems like something bad happened. Strangers, especially adult male strangers, send him running behind my legs, his nose in my hand like it’s a security blanket. He still flinches when I have a newspaper or hanger in my hand, like he’s having a flashback to a traumatic event. He’s very wary of almost any new people who want to interact with him.

Charlie

Charlie

However, Charlie’s so cute and fluffy, children apparently have this overwhelming urge to hug him. Although Hefner is the more outgoing one of the two dogs, children are just drawn to Charlie. I always call him “Mommy’s teddy bear,” so I guess that’s how children see him, too. Charlie usually seems unsure of how to deal with the attention from children, but he accepts it without protest.

Charlie has a completely different reaction when strange adults try to pet him. If someone over the age of 18 reaches out a hand, he backs away and avoids the touch with some kind of gymnastic maneuver that rivals Neo dodging bullets in The Matrix. But let a 6-year-old do that, and he sits there and stares awkwardly at me like he’s not sure what to do.

Charlie

Charlie has never been sure of cats

When I first met Charlie, I was volunteering with the Humane Society in Tupelo, Mississippi, and a family with three young children seemed intent on adopting him that day (they ultimately didn’t end up taking him home). All three children were climbing on him, pulling on his tail, and grabbing handfuls of his auburn locks. Through it all, he just laid there and looked at them, sniffing at them occasionally. I understood then that even though Charlie had had a rough life so far, he still had a heart for children.

Charlie

Charlie

That doesn’t mean that Charlie’s child magnetism doesn’t create for some awkward situations for me. I know there are people out there who have nefarious purposes for their dogs, but I use my canine power for good. However, sometimes I still feel like parents look at me as if I’m driving a windowless van (I guess this one would look like the doggie transport van from Dumb and Dumber), shooting bags of candy out t-shirt cannon-style.

The good thing for Charlie in these situations is that it opens him up a little and gets him used to meeting more people. I feel like an un-socialized dog is not a happy dog, and I want Charlie to be happy. And he seems to make the children happy, just by being him.

Charlie

More than anything, Charlie loves his mommy

But parents, don’t worry: you can keep your kids.

Not So Appetizing: Hefner, the Awkward Pooper

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Before Hefner, Charlie, and I moved from Mississippi to Savannah, the dogs didn’t travel with me locally very often because there were few places in our small town for them to go. I took them to the vet, or for a walk, and sometimes to visit my parents in Alabama, but they never went with me anywhere just to hang out for a few hours.

That’s why I was happy to move to a dog-friendly city like Savannah. Now, the dogs can come with me to eat, shop, and just hang out around town. I don’t have to leave them at home while I have all the fun. Not that it’s fun all the time.

Charlie and Hefner

Hefner and Charlie aren’t always the easiest dogs to walk together, because their noses have a habit of leading them in opposite directions, attempting to pull me apart like Mel Gibson at the end of Braveheart. But the dogs seem to enjoy walking around town and receiving rubs from new people, who are as happy to see them as the dogs are to see whatever scraps I might give them from our dining adventures.

However, this new freedom has caused me to face a reality I’ve been sure of for a long time: Hefner is an awkward pooper. I say that because he will poop anywhere, anytime, without warning.

Hefner

My little sister was actually the first person to make the observation. While visiting family in Alabama years ago, my sister took Hefner for a walk. Later, when she returned, she declared, “Your dog is an awkward pooper!” She then relayed the story to me of how Hefner had done his business in the middle of the road, with no regard for traffic, vehicular or otherwise.

The dogs and I were recently walking down Congress Street on the way to another of our dog-friendly adventures, and, without sniffing or circling or any other warning signs most dogs give, Hefner squatted in the middle of the sidewalk and went. He had no concern for anyone walking around us, especially the guy behind me who had to come to sudden stop to avoid stepping in the pile. Hefner has no sense of shame when it comes to public bathroom stops.

Hefner

Oh, so you say I should walk him for a while at home before I leave? I do that; it doesn’t help. Hefner apparently keeps a few poo bullets in the chamber for public dispersal. We will walk from one end of our apartment complex to the other, and he will go once or sometimes even twice, and I think we’re safe. But sure enough, after several blocks of downtown walking, there he goes. In the middle of the sidewalk. In the middle of traffic. In front of God and everyone.

Hefner has always been a lazy dog, as pugs can be. He would prefer napping on my bed to any other activity. So maybe it’s the large amount of walking that gets to him. Perhaps he’s protesting the unwelcome exercise that comes along with these new excursions. Maybe he’s clearing space in the hopes I’ll let him clean my plate.

Hefner and I

Whatever the reason, a long walk with Hefner is always an adventure (for the record, Charlie doesn’t seem to have this exhibitionist pooping habit). Something that I’ve learned through this project is to never underestimate the number of plastic bags one dogs can demand.